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GEMS:
The day finally arrived. Forrest
Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is
at the Pearly Gates, met by St.
Peter himself. However, the gates
are closed, and Forrest approaches
the gatekeeper
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it
is certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must
tell
you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been
administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The
test is short, but you have to pass
it before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, 'It sure is good
to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody ever told me about any
entrance exam. I
sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life
was a big enough test as it was.
St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know,
Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: what two days of the week
begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there
in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?'
Forrest leaves to think the
questions over. He
returns the next day and sees St.
Peter, who waves him up, and says,
'Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me
your answers.'
Forrest replied, 'Well, the first
one -- which two days in the week
begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks,
that one is easy. That
would be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he
exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking, but you do have
a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit
for that answer. How
about the next one?' asked St.
Peter. 'How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder,' replied
Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk
about that, and I guess the only
answer can be twelve.
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,
how in Heaven's name could you come
up with twelve seconds in a year?
Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
got to be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd...
'Hold it, interrupts St. Peter. 'I
see where you are going with this,
and I see your point, though that
was not quite what I had in
mind....but I will have to give you
credit for that one, too. Let
us go on with the third and final
question. Can you tell me God's
first name'?
'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and
frustrated St Peter. Ok,
I can understand how you came up
with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world
did you come up with the name Andy
as the first name of God?
Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all,
Forrest replied. 'I
learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said:
'Run, Forrest, run.'
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