Save Spliffert Fund
Email me about this page, Daniel Chase
SAVE SPLIFFERT!
HI MY NAME IS SPLIFFERT B. TURDIN. I AM A 4 1/2 FOOT, 4 YEAR OLD GREEN IGUANA WHO LIVES IN
WASHINGTON STATE AND I HAVE A LOVE FOR THE OUTDOORS! WELL. ABOUT 2 ½ WEEKS AGO WHEN IT WAS ALL
NICE AND SUNNY OUT, AND MY PARENTS WEREN'T LOOKING, I DECIDED TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE INTO THE
BACKYARD. I VENTURED TO THE LEFT, THEN I VENTURED TO THE RIGHT, AND FINALLY MADE MY WAY TO THE
BACK OF THE YARD WHERE THERE WAS A NICE PATCH OF SUN. OF COURSE I WASN'T ALONE, MY CANINE
BROTHER SCARFACE & SISTER FERN WHERE LICKING AND HARRASING ME AS USUAL (NOTHING NEW, I THINK
THEY LIKE THE WAY I SMELL OR SOMETHING) WITH ALL THE COMMOTION THEY BLEW MY COVER AND MY MOM
CAME RUNNING OUT! IT WAS THEN THAT I DECIDED IT WAS TOO NICE OUT AND I WASN'T GOING BACK INTO
THE HOUSE! NOW I AM USUALLY EXTREMELY TAME, BUT TODAY I WAS NOT GOING BACK INSIDE! SO WHEN MY
MOM GOT TO ME - I HUNCHED UP AND COCKED MY TAIL BACK READY TO LET HER KNOW! SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS
GOING TO BE SNEAKY AND COVER MY HEAD WITH A TOWEL SO I COULDN'T SEE AND WOULDN'T FIGHT, BUT NOT
TODAY! SHE TOSSED THE TOWEL ON ME, AND I RAN! BUT SHE GOT ME! PINNED ON THE GROUND I WHIPPED,
WIGGLED, AND SQUIRMED! BUT SHE WOULDN'T LET GO! SHE PICKED ME AND SHE TRIED TO RUN TO THE HOUSE,
BUT NOT TODAY! I COCKED MY TAIL AND WHIPPED HER IN THE BACK! AT LAST SHE LET GO, AND I JUMPED
TO THE GROUND! AS FAST AS I COULD I HEADED FOR THE TREE - AND BY THE TIME MY MOM GOT THERE. SHE
COULDN'T EVEN REACH THE BOTTOM OF MY TAIL. HA! SO UP I CLIMBED, HIGHER AND HIGHER, HAPPY TO BE
AWAY FROM THE TREACHES OF MY WARM HOME AND SPECIALY PREPARED MEALS OF MIXED FRUIT & VEGETABLES.
WELL... I WAS UP THIS TREE FOR A LITTLE OVER 2 WEEKS, AND IT WAS STARTING TO GET OLD. EVERYDAY
EXCEPT FOR THE DAY OF MY INITIAL ADVENTURE, IT RAINED AND STORMED! THE MAX TEMPERATURE WAS 60° F.
NOW I AM FROM A COUNTRY WHERE IT IS ALWAYS WARM - EVEN WHEN IT RAINS! IT GOT COLD, VERY COLD,
SO COLD I COULDN'T MOVE. I AM COLD BLOODED, SO WHEN MY BODY TEMPERATURE GETS TO LOW, I GET VERY
LETHARGIC AND CAN'T MOVE, THEREFORE MAKING IT HARD FOR ME TO CLIMB DOWN - ESPECIALLY A TREE
WHERE THE LOWEST BRANCH IS 60 FT UP. NOT ONLY WAS I COLD, I WAS VERY HUNGRY TOO. I AM A
VEGETARIAN AND CANNOT DIGEST DOUGLAS FIR. BUT I STAYED STRONG, I NEW ANOTHER SUNNY DAY HAD TO
BE COMING SOON! IT SEEMED TO ALWAYS BE NICE OUTSIDE WHEN I WAS SITTING IN THE HOUSE ON MY PERCH
ALL NICE AND WARM WITH MY HEATING PAD. EVERYDAY I LISTENED TO MY PARENTS WHISTLING AT ME AND
CALLING MY NAME FROM THE GROUND, BUT STILL COULDN'T MOVE. TODAY WAS THE DAY - I COULD FEEL IT!
IT WAS EARLY, BUT THE SUN WAS ALREADY OUT AND GETTING WARM! A FEW HOURS LATER, MY MOM CAME OUT
AND WHISTLED MY FAVORITE SONG (YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE). TODAY I WAS GOING HOME. IT WASN'T UNTIL
THAT EVENING THAT I GOT ENOUGH STRENGTH TO TRY BACK DOWN THE TREE. SMACK! I HIT THE GROUND.
GREAT. HERE COME THE DOGS. AT LEAST IM IN THE RIGHT YARD I GUESS, BUT THEY JUST WANT TO LICK ME!
UGHH! I HAVE TO GET TO THE HOUSE. I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY LEG. SCARFACE! GO GET MOM!
ALRIGHT! FERN'S BARKING! WHERE'S MOM? I'LL HAVE TO GET SCAR TO TAKE ME TO THE HOUSE. DARN DOG!
STAY STILL! SO RIGHT AS I FINALLY LATCHED ON TO SCAR'S NECK, MY MOM SHOWS UP. HERE SHE WAS
TRYING TO PULL ME OFF OF THE DOG AND HERE I WAS HANGING ON WITH ALL MY MIGHT! FINALLY SCARFACE
PUT HIS PAW ON MY BACK AND PULLED HIS NECK OUT OF MY MOUTH AND I WAS IN MY MOMS ARMS BEING
RUSHED TO THE HOUSE. TO BE HONEST - I WAS SCARED! IN FACT I WAS IN SHOCK. I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE
WHERE I WAS OR ANYTHING, BUT I DID KNOW THAT MY LEG HURT. BAD! AFTER MY MOM TOOK CARE OF THE
DAMAGE THAT I DID TO THE DOG... MY DAD CAME HOME. NOW IT WAS MY TURN TO BE LOOKED OVER. AT
FIRST THEY DIDN'T THINK I WAS TOO BAD, A SPLIT LIP AND A LITTLE MALNOURISHED. I COULD BE
HEALED. IT WASN'T UNTIL ABOUT AN HOUR LATER THAT THEY DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE. UPON
FURTHER INVESTIGATION THEY NOTICED MY LEFT REAR LEG WAS SWOLLEN. MY DAD TRIED TO EXAMINE IT,
BUT IT JUST KEPT POPPING, SO HE LEFT ME ALONE AND I JUST WENT TO SLEEP. THE NEXT DAY I WENT TO
THE DOCTOR. GO FIGURE. A BROKEN FEMUR BONE. MY FRACTURE WAS ALMOST A PERFECT VERTICAL SLICE.
IT IS BROKEN ABOUT A ½ INCH ABOVE MY KNEE, AND MY THIGH BONE IS NOW RESTING ON TOP OF MY KNEE.
THE DOCTOR TOLD MY MOM THAT BECAUSE OF THE TYPE OF BREAK - THAT I COULD NOT HAVE A PIN PUT IN,
BUT I NEEDED ACTUAL SURGERY WITH MULTIPLE PINS PUT IN. I GO IN FOR SURGERY SATURDAY. SINCE I AM
AN EXOTIC ANIMAL, MY DOCTOR FEES ARE USUALLY ALMOST TWICE AS MUCH AS CATS & DOGS. MY FOLKS ARE
NOT POSITIVE WHAT THE TOTAL OF MY SURGERY FEES WILL BE, BUT HAVE GOTTEN A ROUGH ESTIMATE OF
AROUND $1500.00. MY PARENTS ARE YOUNG (AND HAVEN'T HIT THE JACKPOT YET), SO I HAVE DECIDED TO
HELP THEM FIND THE FINANCING THEY NEED FOR MY SURGERY, BY AUCTIONING OFF PICTURES OF MYSELF.
MY PARENTS HAVE TAKEN MANY PICTURES OF ME. I LIKE TO POSE, ESPECIALLY WITH BABY KITTY! FOR YOUR
DONATION YOU WILL RECEIVE A SET OF 5 GREETING CARDS WITH MY PICTURE ON THE FRONT. THE CARDS
WILL BE BLANK INSIDE, SO YOU CAN USE THEM WHEN THE OCCASION ARISES. EVERY PERSON THAT DONATES
TO MY SURGERY WILL RECEIVE MONTHLY UPDATES OF MY RECOVERY PROCESS, AND ADDITIONAL PICTURES TOO!
ALL PROCEEDS WILL BE GOING TO MY SURGERY YOU CAN EMAIL MY PARENTS AT
[email protected]. FOR YOUR DONATIONS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!
SPLIFFERT B. TURDIN
